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Grief and bereavement
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Hypnotherapy notes
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Grief is a multi-stage process that can become "locked" in any of the stages. EMDR is particularly effective in terms of allowing the processing to continue. In such circumstances, especially if trauma is involved, talking therapies may not result in closure.
Bereavement can serve to revive old memories / conflicts. When we experience grief we are generally mentally looking backwards in time and perhaps remembering past negative experiences or lost opportunities. This is one of the key strategies that drives depression hence there is considerable debate in terms of whether grief is depression or not.
There is active debate in terms of when to intervene. One could take action within a few months or allow the process to continue without intervention perhaps for several years. The deciding factor is in terms of how the grief is affecting the person's daily life. Only the person suffering from grief can make the decision in terms of when to take action.
One should note that sedatives, anti-depressants and alcohol can extend the processing timeline, and can lead to addiction to mask unresolved issues.
Exercise is helpful for many: Walks in the High Wycombe area help to work through grief symptoms
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Grief is a term that describes all the feelings, thoughts and behaviour that someone goes through after bereavement.
What is bereavement?
This is a term that can be used to describe any event that includes loss, so this could mean losing your job or the death of someone you know or the loss of a relationship eg through divorce or separation. Grief can even be experienced when a treasured mobile phone is lost.
Debate still continues as to what normal grief consists of and whether it is distinct from depression. It is very common for people to have symptoms that are often used to diagnose depression after bereavement. It is less common for people to experience a depressive illness and require treatment for this.
What is normal grief?
This is a term used to describe the typical symptoms somebody experiences after bereavement. It can include:
- disbelief, shock, numbness and feelings of unreality
- anger
- feelings of guilt
- sadness and tearfulness
- preoccupation with whatever has been lost
- disturbed sleep and appetite and, occasionally, weight loss
- seeing or hearing the voice of the person lost
The initial disturbance the above symptoms causes is gradually reduced and people begin to accept the loss and readjust.
A grief reaction can last for up to 12 months, but can vary within different cultures. The average is probably around six months.
What is abnormal grief?
This is a term used to describe a grief reaction that is somehow different. It is usually used when grief is very intense, prolonged or the reaction is delayed. It also is used if the symptoms experienced are outside the normal range. Parkes felt these symptoms included:
- preoccupation with feelings of worthlessness
- a belief that the unwanted feelings will never pass
- excessive guilt
- marked slowing of thoughts and movements
- a prolonged period of not being able to function as well
How common is depression after bereavement?
There isn't a straightforward answer to this. The results from studies vary. A study by Zisook in 1993 looked at the rate of depression in late-life widows. The results showed that 16% of them had depression 13 months after bereavement.
The symptoms of depression associated with grief are the same as those for depression occurring at anytime.
Who is likely to get depression?
It is difficult to judge who will or won't suffer depression after a bereavement. However, risk factors thought to increase the chance include the following:
- a previous history of depression
- intense grief or depressive symptoms early in the grief reaction
- few social supports
- little experience of death
Diagnostic and statistical manual criteria (DSM)
Testimonials
- "Bill's therapy has been invaluable to me in overcoming the physical and emotional pain of a miscarriage. He has refocused my career and helped me find the strength within myself to make the right personal and professional changes. The EMDR removed the nightmares reoccuring for 10 years and the Timeline therapy placed the incident in my past desensitising the pain of the miscarriage and an abusive relationship. The dirty feeling/grittyness and poor self image I had gradually dispelled as I practised the meditation techniques dispelling the binge comfort eating and self harm destructive patterns. Bill taught me to come to terms with my bi-polar depression triggered by the miscarriage-reactive depression. Within mid therapy session (session 2) I made the move to come off the anti depressants, sedatives and sleeping pills all within the period of 2 weeks while he taught me depression was merely a body's reactive mechanism that could be changed and monitored useing his Time-line and stress management discs and CD's as well as controlled meditative breathing and mind exercises to control emotional pain.
Particularly effective was Time-line therapy which combined cleverly the first relaxation technique then the white light healing exercise combined with the reevaluation of the past via Time-line therapy repositioning and desensitising the pain of the past event and objectifying lessons learnt from the past. I have learnt through his leads through Buddhism to gain insight from suffering and am just begining to learn Buddhist meditation techniques to help me even at work to focus more clearly on my observation work with children and pinpoint social sensitivity. Thankyou Bill. You have opened the door that was my self made prison." {Bereavement / Trauma / Bipolar}*
- "I do feel much better and able to cope with the techniques that you have taught me. Thank you for your help as I was in a very bad place." {Grief / Bereavement}*
- "Bill Frost was professional and empathetic throughout the therapy. He also congratulated me when I made progress either interacting with dogs or taking steps to spend time in parts of my home where I had previously heard rodents in the loft space. Family issues came up such as unresolved grief and my people-pleasing habits. All four issues listed here were remarkably improved by EDMR therapy and hypnotherapy in the sessions which was personalised to me and what was on my mind currently. I can reassure future clients that at no time did I feel I had lost control or 'was going under'. I would recommend this therapy for phobias." {Dog / Rodent phobia / Bereavement}*
- "I recently had the privilege of receiving therapy from Bill at Changing States Hypnotherapy in High Wycombe, and it has been transformative. Bill's calm demeanor and empathetic approach immediately put me at ease, making me feel comfortable and valued.
His extensive qualifications and expertise in Hypnotherapy were evident in his integrative approach. This method effectively addressed my concerns from multiple angles, leading to a holistic healing process.
Bill's professionalism and ability to create a connection remained strong, making the experience better.
The results have been profound, with significant improvements in my mental and emotional well-being. Bill's techniques have equipped me with practical tools to manage stress anxiety and changes in life.
I highly recommend Bill Frost and Changing States Hypnotherapy to anyone seeking effective and compassionate therapy. Thank you, Bill, for your dedication and positive impact on my life." {Alcohol control / Grief / Bereavement}*
- "I felt much better even after one session. I am happy with the whole outcome." {Bereavement}*
*Disclaimer required by Google: We provide testimonials to help you gain confidence about how we work and results we achieve. However, please be aware that we whilst we bring 100% of our effort and skill to the process, as with all hypnotherapy / psychotherapy practices, results may vary between individuals.
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